by Jack Handey
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land.
He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her.
But when he kissed her, she disintegrated.
Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them.
At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."